UNDERSTAND MY ANGER << qstz blog

Sunday, March 23, 2014


I had an  instantaneous, unforeseen, insult to my head.
It's result and effect on my life has had me so incredibly

mad! All my many dreams of the future, my hopes and my

goals, all changed and I can't help that it has made me

incredibly sad.
 
You think and say that I look the same as before. You

act like if I tried hard enough I could still be just the

same. In your unrealistic expectations of trying to accept

the "new" me, your pressure and demands have made me feel,

in your eyes, lost and lame.


Don't misunderstand that I am not grateful or immensely

thankful. Yes, I am very aware that my injury could be

considerably worse. Please, just don't ask me to pretend

it is easy or ask me to try harder to minimize. Because

today, my life, my losses, my reality, feels much like a

curse.

 
Someday I am sure I will have the ability to let go of

this incredible pain. But it has to be handled my way, in

my time frame, not any demand of yours. Please just try to

be patient and loving as I am truly doing the best I can.
Some injuries and their aftermath unfortunately don't have 
instantaneous cures.


My exasperation and fury come from my internal frustration,

at all the things that were once easy, and now are so

difficult for me to do. Please just try showing me some

sincere understanding and empathy, remember things are not

nearly as easy for me to do as they are for you.

I don't like to allow myself such feelings of wrath or

outrageous anger, over emotions I no longer seem to be able

to keep under control. My agitation certainly doesn't mean

that I don't need love or feel appreciation, it just means

that I am struggling very hard with this unwanted role.

I believe I will feel much less anger, when I eventually no

longer feel

feel
 
by: Warsawa
    6-27-96

qstz blog